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[Alchymia spiritus]
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." ~ Jung

"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing." ~ Camille Pissarro

"The Sphinx:
The marble image came alive, Began to moan and plead.
She drank my burning kisses up with ravenous thirst and greed.
She drank the breath from out my breast, She fed lust without pause;
She pressed me tight and tore and rent My body with her claws." ~ Henrich Heine, 1839

"I've got one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake. If I took my foot off the brake I'd burn rubber halfway across this country. Don't believe all that romance about writers block. Everybody has it: butchers, bakers, writers; it just means you've got one foot on the brake." ~ Lucy, "Paris, France"

"The function of poetry is religious invocation of the muse; its use is the experience of mixed exaltation and horror that her presence excites." ~ Robert Graves, The White Goddess

“The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this:

A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.

To him... a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.

Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - - - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating." ~ Pearl S. Buck


"Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear." ~ Thomas Jefferson

"They lied to you. The Devil is not the Prince of Matter; the Devil is the arrogance of the spirit, faith without smile, truth that is never seized by doubt. The Devil is grim because he knows where he is going, and, in moving, he always returns whence he came." ~ Umberto Eco, The Name of the Rose

“A warrior is on permanent guard against the roughness of human behavior. A warrior is magical and ruthless, a maverick with the most refined taste and manners, whose worldly task is to sharpen, yet disguise, his cutting edges so that no one would be able to suspect his ruthlessness.” ~ Don Juan Matos

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, cone a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly." ~ Robert A. Heinlein

"When sleeping women wake...mountains move!" ~ Chinese proverb

"A psychotic drowns in the very same stuff a mystic swims in." ~ Pema Chodron

"Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire." ~ Teilhard de Chardin

"Be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves..." ~ (Matthew 10:16)

I write more than I talk, unless you're experiencing an unfortunate planetary transit or something, in which case I'm liable to chew your ear off with unconventional connections, disconcerting descriptors, liberal use of metaphor, anachronistic colloquialisms, and irreverant humor. My writing is deeply purple...or perhaps more of a florid orchid...maybe a nice introspective indigo...and it tends to loom.

I am not much of a 'people person', but I do find I tend to be rather an enthusiastic 'people who aren't people-people person'. I am versatile, voracious, veracious, voluptuous, visceral, verbose, vitriolic, veteratorian, and occasionally vulnerable or vicious. I am veritably brought to you by the letter 'V'. I'm a deep-rooted sensualist, yet also atrociously conscientious and cautious, which tends to provide a balancing influence in this area. I have too many interests and not enough time. I am a research junkie.

I tend to extremes, yet could never be called an extremist. I have a chronic navel-gazing addiction and aggressively wield both the microscope of self-observation and the chisel of self-development. My spiritual philosophy is largely endogenous and highly eclectic. I tend toward an existential mindset. I believe that truth is subjective and that perception is merely a lens (or more accurately, a set of lenses), not an experience of some concrete absolute to which every person can look for a homogenized, objective "reality" - and that the ongoing, ever-evolving quest of each individual for a personal, subjective meaning or truth in existence is at the very core of the "meaning of life". It thus follows naturally that I find personal value in logotherapy. Having said that, I additionally tend toward the Buddhist/Hindu/Theosophic concept of an ultimate Truth which lies beyond our subjective concept of reality. I want to understand why I am here (my personal meaning/truth), and what exactly "here" is (my subjective perception), but ultimately I'd like to get the hell out of "here" (find/understand/evolve to/merge with/dissolve in/move through the ultimate Truth, which can be called the divine, the All, the void, creation, the source, "god", etc., etc. (If sitting around discussing this sort of thing over tea is your idea of a Good Time, we really should talk...and if you are still with me after all that, the tea's on me.)

I play a lot of video games and tend to get very worked up over them. I am blind as a bat, but my other senses are off the map in compensation. I hold no illusions about myself and am the first to admit my faults: I can be goofy, cranky, critical, volatile, procrastinating, and insufferably vague, as well as gently manipulative and sensorily-overloaded and overloading, and I suck at getting stuff off high shelves. I'm always up for a battle of wills, but I'll warn you - I fight dirty. I believe there are few things sexier than a thick, luscious vocabulary. I see patterns everywhere (figuratively but quite often also literally) and am not afraid to use them. My heritage is mostly Hungarian. Chances are I'd die without music and books, or I'd at least wish I were dead. I have been accused of being synaesthetic. I do not have a 'favorite color' and find myself not only flummoxed and frustrated, but also a bit traumatized by questions aimed at discovering its non-existent existence.

My partner recently asserted that I am the "most aggressively neutral person" he's ever known, and I can't really argue with that. I am both analytical and intuitive, calculating and inspired, strategic and instinct-driven, stoic and passionate. I have no problem evincing completely contradictory facets simultaneously, because dichotomy is delicious.


I like books.

I like music.

I like movies.

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